Introverts can be pretty weird. I can attest to that first hand (and I'm not proud of it). We just don't fit in with our largely extroverted society. Our interests and social skills are typically narrower, often causing a range of both apparent and very real problems when interacting with others.
But naming any particular introverted qualities might be painting with a broad brush. There are a number of characteristics which could be associated with introversion and each would come in degrees. There are, however, a few characteristics typically named which give people a rough idea as to which direction we lean. The highlights typically include:
1. Small talk is stressful for us
2. We write better than we talk
3. We're easily distracted
4. Details are very important to us
5. We have a few select interests in life
6. We choose stability over adventure
7. We prefer a few close friends to many acquaintances
8. Crowds either make us feel lonely or overwhelmed
9. Our lack of socializing is mistaken for depression or a lack of confidence
Disabilities, Strengths, and Challenges
Some view introversion as a disability. Others see strengths in it. I imagine it's a bit of both. Our inability to freely and rapidly interact with the world on many fronts cause us to focus our attention on a few select areas in life where we hone our skills. And because we cannot find happiness in rapid changes of scenery, we look for happiness in things which are more stable.
The challenge for us introverts is in coming to accept that we'll never be the person we might want to be. The more aware we become of our limitations and the more aware we become of how much adventure passes us by, the more difficult it can be to accept the direction we're headed in life. We can feel overwhelmingly isolated and disappointed as we watch the world go by without us. If we're not fortunate enough to have people in our life who understand and value our uniqueness, depression can be a way of life.
Of course, we might also be fortunate enough not to notice our differences or care much at all. I certainly know some who are blessed with this sweet ignorance.
Small Picture
I write all this with a twinge of pain. It took me years to realize the extent of my introversion and, in some ways, I wish I'd never known. My ideal self and my actual self are universes apart. I've never been able to accept this.
As a result of my particular characteristics, I've had to let virtually every relationship in my life die a slow, natural death. I've had to avoid people as much as possible. It was too painful being reminded of what I was and it was too painful to watch myself systematically derail otherwise normal interactions with people. A relationship was nothing more than something for me to probably screw up. The concentration and effort alone it took to survive small talk without making a stupid mistake was almost unbearable.
Now, I don't mean to play the tiny violin here. I just think some should know what introversion can be like –at least in my case. I think back on all the friendships I lost and imagine they never understood why I couldn't or wouldn't reciprocate. It wasn't because I didn't like them. It was because I was afraid of screwing up. The effort and commitment involved was high, and it often ended in disappointment no matter how hard I tried.
There are other factors involved, but this "fear of commitment" is a big one. And not to end on such a low note, I certainly haven't given up on relationships. It's a work in progress. People are great, introversion is sometimes not.
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