I suppose it goes without saying that by becoming an atheist, one no longer believes in prayer. However, for me, the transition from believer to non-believer was a slow one, and prayer was one of the last aspects of my faith to go. It was just too significant to pass off as mere superstition.
Prayer was still my way of expressing humility, thankfulness, and finding peace. It was my hope of becoming a better person, discovering truth, and knowing God, whoever it was. Prayer was a lot of things –which I’m sure is true for many believers reading this. Overall, prayer just felt right. I couldn't explain why.
But, as fate would have it, that obnoxiously analytical mind of mine (God forgive me) kept picking away at the meaning of prayer over the years, trying to understand what its allure was. And while I would never presume to have cracked the code, so-to-speak, I did find a distinction which was, for me, very important.
Revelation
Prayer was both emotional and intellectual.
Ok… No surprise there. But it was the sharp contrast between these two aspects of prayer which I found so important. I could see clearly the emotional and spiritual significance of prayer on the one hand, while the intellectual aspect of prayer seemed to diverge radically. That is to say, we could all experience its emotional and spiritual significance, but what it really meant and what it accomplished was a question we all answered differently (or didn't answer at all!). It was as though the answer wasn't as important as the function prayer served.
Pause Button
At this point, I imagine many are thinking to themselves that they do, in fact, know the purpose of prayer and know what it accomplishes. That very may well be. However, I think there are a variety of views on prayer which most believers, including myself, did not receive in church. Prayer is just one of those things you start doing, rather than one of those things you properly study and practice in a new believer’s course. At any rate, differing views on prayer are important to understand as they highlight some of the questions we have about its purpose.
Some believers see prayer solely as a way of aligning our will with God’s will. Some see it purely as an act of obedience or worship. Others think it’s a way of pleading for intervention where their otherwise would be none. Some of the more Pentecostal types think it’s an exercise in faith –to name it and claim it in the mighty name of Jesus! Still others are lost somewhere in between, finding value in each perspective but not really knowing how they all gel together (and probably not caring very much either way).
Write Your Senator Today
For the most part, I think it’s safe to say most believers cherish and practice the pleading aspect of prayer. We petition God to intervene, insofar as his will allows. We ask God to make us a better person, we ask God to help our children do well in school, and we call on prayer warriors to raise a mighty cry for so-and-so in the hospital after their terrible accident.
It was this aspect of prayer, in particular, I found most troubling. It ultimately led me to believe we valued prayer primarily for therapeutic purposes and not because it was rational.
Think about it. We believe an omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent being is literally surrounding us at all times (did I mention this being is omnipresent?), yet we have to plead with this all-merciful being to intervene and do good? Imagine it. If I forget to say morning prayers with my child before they go to school, this loving deity might figuratively fold their arms and stare as my child is abducted during recess? And if we don’t get at least fifty people on the prayer chain praying for little Johnny in the hospital, this deity won’t intervene to save his life? What is this being anyway –a politician we must strong-arm into action with enough signatures on a petition?
In short, something didn't seem to fit here. It doesn't really make much sense to ask a good person to do good things, instead of stand there and do nothing. That is to say, I shouldn't need to ask, plead, and petition a friend to intervene when my wife is being brutally beaten in front of their eyes. I think it goes without saying.
Witchcraft
Along with this point, it was also troubling to see the way in which we believers attempted to make our prayers more effective. It wasn't enough to telepathically transmit our hopes and dreams to the deity, no no. We needed to vocalize them. Loudly. We needed to physically lay hands on people and anoint them with oil. We needed to repeat our requests over and over and over. We need to close our eyes and rock back in forth, scrunching our faces up as though we were in pain. We had to REALLY mean what we said and we had to be VERY convincing. “God doesn't answer prayer, he answers desperate prayer”, we were told.
We also wanted lots of people making the same prayer request with us. Because, of course, with our powers combined, we might more likely summon a response!
It was also important to be as close to the object of prayer as possible. Laying hands on the subject was ideal. This way, our spiritual power could travel more directly through our arms and into the person we were praying for. This only made sense since, after all, our spiritual energy levels and field of affluence was limited.
Never mind the sarcasm. Do you see what I’m getting at? It starts to look a bit like witchcraft. People are attempting to manipulate spiritual powers by doing things with their bodies. It isn’t just asking anymore. It’s frantically trying to get someone’s attention as though they can’t hear you, can’t be bothered, or must be summed from beyond the grave.
The point here is that it doesn't seem like we really believe in an omnipotent, omniscient, or omnibenevolent being. We believe in making desperate attempts to contact and strong-arm a mysterious spiritual power into doing something we want.
Concluding Remarks
In conclusion, prayer, in the sense of pleading for intervention, just seems to portray the deity someone either hard of hearing or unwilling to get involved unless a lot of superfluous noise takes place first.
Don’t get me wrong, there are many ways of defending this scenario theologically. There are also many alternate views on prayer, and God, for that matter. (Don’t worry ivory tower theologians, I know you’re there.) But I can’t address all these views in one post and, fundamentally, I don’t think these views are important on a pragmatic level (i.e. practical theology).
As I see it, what I’ve described here seems to be the way most believers actually practice and view prayer. It is the implications of this view which seem to clearly conflict with what people claim to believe about God.
The Power of Prayer
This is not to say prayer isn’t powerful. It has great significance for people and it is sometimes the only thing people have in times of crises. I think it’s fair to say that I myself may return to prayer should crises find me. The only point I hope to make here, and the only thing I try to keep in mind for myself, is that the emotional and intellectual value of prayer differ. Prayer may get us through difficult events, but it doesn’t necessarily fit in coherently with our spiritual beliefs. It’s something people need to believe in rather than something which actually makes sense.
After five years of wrestling with faith, I finally called it quits on prayer. I didn't call it quits because I was bitter or because of some lengthy intellectual argument. I did it because, frankly, I thought more highly of the deity theists worshiped.
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